There but for the grace of God go I. It’s a phrase I’ve heard
often, and maybe not given it as much weight as it deserves. If you look it up,
the definitions include:
1. used to acknowledge one's good fortune in
avoiding another's mistake or misfortune.
2. variants: ‘it is
only through God's grace or factors beyond my control that I have not suffered
the fate of someone more unfortunate than myself’; typically expressing
variously sympathy, understanding, or gratitude.
I’ve had a lot weighing on my mind and my heart lately. Sometimes
there just isn’t enough time in the day to really reflect on things that need
some deep thought. Luckily however, I find myself having a couple of unexpected
days off. Coincidence? I think not!
When I have mornings where I do not have to rush, I usually
spend a few extra minutes at the barn getting chores done, feeding, talking to
the horses and the cat, etc.. it’s the perfect time to think. But my thoughts
were not on this phrase this morning, not at first. That came later as I was
finishing up. My thoughts were on the way the world has changed so much since I
was a kid. How family dynamics have changed. Parents aren’t parents anymore,
they want to be their kid’s friends. Discipline has become a dirty word. Everyone
has the right to express themselves as they want, no matter how it affects
those around them or society as a whole, unless they are expressing their
religious beliefs.. God forbid! Political battles are fought and never won. And
then there is the internet..
In my day, if someone had an issue with you, as kids, we
took it out behind the school and settled it. But if you got caught, you got your
butt kicked both at school, and when you got home. If an adult had a problem with someone, they confronted
that person, in person, and the problem was settled, or maybe not, but it didn’t
linger in cyberspace for all of eternity, becoming like that old kids game
where you tell someone something, then they tell the person next to them, and
so on, and so on, until you get back to the beginning of the circle. Does the
statement ever end the way it began? Rarely, if ever. Back then, it pretty much
ended there. Today, it recycles over, and over, and over, being shared thousands
or even millions of times. Sometimes the story is added to, or sometimes the
story wasn’t factual to start with. But hey, if they say it on FB then it must
be true, right?
And then there is social media shaming.. i.e.. people of
Walmart or other like groups. Someone takes a snapshot of someone they don’t
even know, but appears be an easy target, posts it on social media with a
snarky remark, and wah lah. Instant cyber bullying for millions of people’s fun
and enjoyment. If its not someone you know, you think it’s funny and you share
it without even a thought that that is a person, with a family, friends, and
good old fashioned feelings. Throwing stones, creating ripples, destroying lives.
What about gossip? This often goes back to that kids game.
Someone gets a tidbit of a story, embellishes it to make it a little more
dramatic, pass it on. People might repeat that version of the story to someone
in an actual conversation, then that person posts the embellished story on
social media, adding a little more to make it even more exciting. Maybe its just
to make themselves feel more important, who knows. How many times is that
process repeated until the narrative no longer has any resemblance to what
actually happened? And it happens so fast these days. There was another phrase people used to use
for gossipers.. “Tel-e-phone, tel-a-graph, tell __________ (fill in the blank).
Next comes the judgement. Someone sits on their high horse,
passing judgement on others, not considering the blur from that high perch, and
not considering what is going on in their own barn. I think judging others somehow makes
themselves feel better about their own situations. If they can make the story
bad enough, it shines less light on their own problems. Who cares who is
getting hurt, as long as they feel better. I believe those people have darkness
in their hearts that further drives the chaos in their lives. Hate breeds more hate..
it’s a vicious cycle.
And finally, when people get tired of it or annoyed about
the rhetoric, there is another phrase that gets thrown out there “Karma is a bitch”.
The comfort in that is the feeling that eventually the person you are mad at
will pay, and pay big. Actually I don’t believe Karma is a bitch. I believe she
is more like Lady Justice. If you are constantly judging someone for an action
or a mistake, or purposely creating harm for others, then eventually that will
somehow play out in your life, either for you or someone you love. It’s not
down and dirty, its subtle, its familiar, is similar to what you were judging
someone else for. The good thing is, If you realize Karma’s lesson then you most
likely will not have to repeat it. You will learn and grow from it. But often,
that is not what happens, so the vicious cycle continues.
As I am rambling all of these thoughts through my head, and
thinking about things that are going on around me, both close to home and the
shooting in Florida yesterday, as well as reflecting on how dangerous our own
little town has become, that is when it hit me.. actually it was my spirit
guides that hit me with the message.. finally, you have my attention guys! There
but for the grace of God go I. Be thankful and gracious in what I have, even in
troubled times, because others are not so fortunate.
I don’t believe that every bad thing that happens to you is
a result of Karma. I believe bad things happen to good people for many
different reasons; be it a lesson for you, or someone close to you. A turn of
events that is meant to change the course of other people’s lives, a rude
awakening that is long past due. There are a number of reasons, but I believe there
is always a reason. However, that is not the track I am on here, not at this
moment.
I am looking at the world around me and wondering “WTH?” Why
are so many people so angry? Why do some live solely to inflict pain on others.
What pleasure do they get out of hurting someone else?
The failure is when we refuse to recognize that sometimes
people make mistakes. Sometimes they have a lapse in judgement, be it an
action, an outfit, hairstyle or whatever. But who are you to judge? Unless your
barn is super sparkly, don’t point out the manure in your neighbor’s stalls. We
all make mistakes, we all have lapses in judgement, we are human, and mistakes
are how we learn.
I don’t question mistakes normally, I question peoples responses to them. Do you
react harshly, lashing out even when the situation has nothing to do with you,
or do you reach out with kindness and understanding? Do you intentionally try to
make the lives of others miserable, or do you seek to make the world a better
place? It’s a choice. You make a choice to be happy, every day. Or you make a
choice to go out and create havoc and heartache. Do you lift others up, or push
them down and walk over them? Are you happy or are you miserable? The answer to
that last question is most likely determined by the answers to the first few.
If your defense to a negative action is that you “believe in
something”, and you are trying to prevent it from continuing, your thinking is
upside down. You cannot create a positive outcome to a negative situation with
a negative action. It just doesn’t work that way. You go out and you do something by learning as
much as you can and then helping others. You change minds, laws, opinions and
situations by sharing informed views, and by giving of yourself to bring about
a better future.
One of my favorite quotes is from Mother Teresa, and it fits
here perfectly. She said “I was once asked why I don’t participate in anti-war
demonstrations. I said that I will never do that, but as soon as you have a
pro-peace rally, I’ll be there.”
Are you Anti-?? or are you Pro-?? Think about it and
remember.. There but by the grace of God go you..
